The Georgia Knitter’s Blog

Also known as 100 reasons why Georgia ROCKS!

1. As Ludacris says ::
“We ready for war in the state of Georgia”
“It’s mean in this dirty south, you ever disrespect it and we’ll clean out your dirty mouth.”
“if you get in an altercation, just hop on your mobile phone and tell somebody you need help in the middle of georgia”
“GA the peach state where we stay
My small city’s called Albany…Georgia
Pecan country like catfish with grits
Candy yams and chitlins
Gram’s homemade baked biscuits
The land of classical Caprices and Impala super sports
Ingredients in the peach cobbler called…Georgia”

2. Crime Mob says it all ::
“Ain’t nothin like a Georgia Girl!”

3. Yes, we do have gangs in GA, but honey, they’re the best friends ya could ever have.

4. We gots a festival for EVERYTHING. From the Watermelon Festival in Cordele, to the Grits Festival in Warwick to the Apple Festival in Ellijay to the Cherry Blossom Festival in Macon and Conyers to the Swampfest in Waycross, to Spring Festival in Flowery Branch to Strawberry Festival in Reynolds, to Wild Georgia Shrimp & Grits Festival on Jekyll Island to Hummingbird Festival in Hogansville to a fire ant festival in Ashburn.

5. Ya’ll IS word, deal with it!

6. You go to church, damn straight everybody gonna be kin to everybody! It’s genetics.

7. We gots two kinds of Walmarts in this state. Walmart, and the Redneck Walmart — Dollar General, ya’ll!

8. You come to a new town in Georgia and you’re a stranger, stop by Walmart or the Redneck Walmart. You won’t be no more!

9. Spend enough time in Walmart, ya got a second family!

10. Whether it be peewee, rec center, middle school, high school, college or pro, we take football reeeeallll serious like.

11. Parents DO name their youngins “Bubba” “Blue” “Jocktavious” “Shenice” “AliKenishia” “Manquidious” (for twins :: “Jamil” “Jamal” “Jarmal”, “Sonia” “Sonya”, “Octavia” “Octasia”, or my favourite “Brianne” and “Brianne” *pronounced Brian and Bre-anne*) “Tashyana”

12. Contrary to popular myth, not everyone who lives in Georgia is a redneck. There’s plenty of hillbillies, too.

13. And ATL Thrashers and Gangstas and ya best not forget to mention us, else we’ll put a cap in yo ass!

14. If asked, some people will tell you that Georgia means “Bitchin”

15. Despite the way natives pronounce the state’s name, “Jawjah” is NOT spelled with a W. Unlike the word “dawg”.

16. There are times where #15 does not apply.

17. Teachers still tell you to disregard #16.

18. And the students continue to disregard teachers mentioned in #17.

19. The state motto of Georgia is “Wisdom, Justice, Moderation.”, which replaced the old motto of “Whiskey, Hookers, NASCAR.”

20. In Georgia, every soft drink is referred to as “Coke”. Except for Pepsi, which is referred to as “Damn Yankee Poison”.

21. After Jimmy Carter left the presidency in 1981, he returned to his home town of Plains, Georgia and went on a bloody shooting rampage.
22. Wait… I meant to say “worked for Habitat for Humanity”. Must’ve been a typo.

23. The state fish of Georgia is the largemouth bass, which shouldn’t be confused with the much more common loudmouth drunk.

24. Georgia was originally populated by settlers from England and drunk people from Alabama who couldn’t find their way home.

25. The most common cause of death in Georgia is getting murdered in a fight over the proper way to pronounce the word “pecan”.

26. Which is correctly pronounced as “Pee Can”. Don’t question me, I know how to kill someone and leave no evidence.

27. Vienna is pronounced Vie An Uh.

28. Vidalia. Vie Dal Uh.

29. Mary Jane is not, I repeat, NOT a girl your Momma wants to meet. A note to parents :: if your child keeps talking about a friend named Mary Jane, tell the brat it’s called POT.

30. Yeah, we got golf courses here. Just don’t hit the water hazards. 2 reasons, 1. you disturbing the folks fishin 2. them gators gon gitcha!

31. Atlanta = ADD-LANNA not AT-LANT-A.

32. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

33. Stores don’t have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.

34. You measure distance in minutes.

35. A Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

36. People DO plan their wedding and/or funeral around the football schedule.

37. There have been cases of women crossing their legs after their water breaks so they can see who wins the big game.

38. EVERYTHING tastes better with Ranch Dressing! It’s a scientifically proven fact.

39. On one side of the road there’s Wal-Mart and on the other is a cotton field.

40. Most directions to a person’s home include the words : turn off the paved road.

41. When a single snowflake falls, the entire state shuts down, even if it doesn’t stick. The radio and TV news will make snowstorm reports every 10 minutes and the grocery store will be completely sold out of bread, milk, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

42. Braves=good. Yankees=bad. Pure and simple, baby!

43. You are 100% Georgian if you have ever had this conversation:

“You wanna coke?”

“Yeah.”

“What kind?”

“Dr Pepper

44. You live in GA, your last words might be, “Yall watch this.” Some people contend that it is actually “Yall hold my beer and watch this shit” but no one can really tell due to the slur of their words.

45. It is alright to talk about someone… so long as you bless their heart

46. You come across a bunch of folk dressed up real purdy like, it’s either 1 of 2 thangs. 1. Sunday Service 2. Friday Night Football

47. No matter where you at, no matter who ya ask, distance is NOT measured in any form of metrics. It’s all about time. It’s about 2 and a half hours to Macon. Round about 3 and a half to Savannah, bout 10 minutes up to Pooh’s, and bit less than an hour to go see Kasey.

48. There have been, are, and always will be disputes about Fords and Chevys. And for a fact, FORDS RULE! Unless there’s a Jonh Deere Tractor in the pickins.

49. You NEVER walk into a sports bar during baseball season and turn the channel from the braves game to the yankees, less you wanna die cuz you fixin to get yo ass beat.

50. you know you’re from georgia when your family from out of town comes to visit and you take em to see the giant watermelon at the watermelon factory outside of town —Cordele, ya’ll.

51. In the state of Georgia, you get drunk with your buddies and can’t finish that last beer, your buddy tells ya “ya best finish that beer. ya know we don’t waste that shit”.

52. Concepcion is a name. it’s pronounce Cone sep she own.

53. you best know how to wrassle!

54. Cairo is NOT in Egypt, it’s up the road a few minutes and pronounce Kie Row

55. Cordele is NOT PRONOUNCED CORDELL! SAY IT WITH ME, PEOPLE! Core-deal.

56. You know you’re a Georgian when you are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances…but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.

57. Shut up and accept the fact that you WILL come into contact with Boiled Green Peanuts in the summer/fall months. It’s inevitable.

58. There are people that name their dogs Soco for Southern Comfort.

59. Other people name their dogs for this season’s UGA 1st string.

60. UGA and GA Tech hate each other.

61. Gucci who? Honey, it’s called LEVI. Prada???? You’re pronouncing it allllll wrong. It’s pronounced WALMART. Armani?? Dixie Outfitters, baby!

62. There is a difference between Southern Pride and Racism. Black folks wear dixie outfitter too.

63. You know you’re in Georgia when your friends call you sis and they call yo momma they second momma.

64. People drink beer with MacDonald’s. It’s a fact. I, however, hate MacDonald’s, so I drink beer with Sonic.

65. To survive in GA, you better learn your gang tags. And don’t you wear the wrong colour!

66. You know who Lewis Clinch is even if you hate GA Tech and Basketball.

67. Georgians will defend Georgia til their last breath evaporates from the planet. THE END.

68. Don’t mess with Georgia.

69. Remember the 3 Ps

70. Peaches

71. Peanuts

72. Pecans

73. We the Peach State for a reason. Nearly every street in ATL is PEACHTREE.

74. Georgia is Southern Royalty. We’s named for King George II of England.

75. We’re the largest state East of the Mississippi.

76. We got 3 official state nicky names.

77. Peach State

78. Goober State

79. Empire of the South, further proving #74.

80. Sonic is more than just that damn hedgehog. It’s good eatins.

81. The Brown Thrasher is the State Bird……cept we see more kildeer than any other.

82. The Cherokee Rose is the State Flower, but also Miss Cherokee Rose, the beauty queen.

83. Highest Geographic Point in Georgia is NOT Brasstown Bald. It’s as high as you can get with that Mary Jane you bought on the corner of Joe Wright and 24th.

84. We got 159 counties. And ya get to learn em all by 8th grade.

85. Crisp County High School is known as Hell High.

86. There are over 100 ways to eat Pecans, trust me, I took Home Ec.

87. For a family reunion you go to church.

88. For a church meeting, you go to Walmart.

89. and if you’re going shopping, go to walmart, then stop by church to say hi, and then drive by your bubba’s to say howdy.

90. Savannah Sweets is the best place in the world to buy Salt Water Taffy.

91. I love the boys out in LA, the shoppin stores in New York, the beaches at MIA but they aint nothin like that GA Red Clay. ya heard??

92. Hong Kong Cafe in Albany, GA across the road from Albany Mall is THE place for Chinese food. And Margaret loves Miss Mei to pieces, cuz Miss Mei rocks!

93. Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard the Pirate, was a transplanted Georgian. He made Blackbeard Island his home.

94. Gainesville, GA Chicken Capital of the world

95. Cordele, GA Watermelon Capital of the World

96. Known as the sweetest onion in the world, the Vidalia onion can only be grown in the fields around Vidalia and Glennville

97. We’re also known as the State of Emergency — Cuz, honey, have you seen how hot Georgia grows their kids??.

98. 2 words…….. Fort Benning.

99. Georgians are probably THE most patriotic folks ever to walk this earth.

100. Ray Charles and Dr Martin Luther King Jr. is all I gotta say.

I’m done tellin ya’ll the rules. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go murder someone who said “puh khan”.